The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Still dying that you shit outside
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
