Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize