In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
