what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
