is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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