People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
