I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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