my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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