I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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