The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
