You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Everyone says I win the strip club
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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