When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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