So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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