it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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