Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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