do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
