So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
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