i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
