So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
