census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Houston, we have a squirter
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
