her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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