so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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