i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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