Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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