Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
