It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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