Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
