i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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