I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This baby is an asshole
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
