I wish i was in the wii world.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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