i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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