We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
