I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize