Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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