your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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