beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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