That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
