It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
