yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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