I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
