Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's the barista slut.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
