I hate all girls vehemently.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he shaved USA in his pubs
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
