shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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