He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
