I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
