So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
True strength comes from lack of pants
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
