As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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