Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
