Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
