3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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