I got her a Nickelback box set.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
