The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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