When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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