Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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