the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
