just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
